Reflews

How to Be in Your State of Possibilities, Not Musts

Date Published

The image shows a person in partial silhouette facing two large sheets of paper pinned to a wall. The left sheet is titled “MUST” and lists tasks in bold handwritten text: “MUST EEND FMAIL”, “MUST FINISH CODE”, and “CAN CHOSE” (with spelling errors). The right sheet is titled “CAN” and displays a grid of colorful sticky notes—orange, yellow, and blue—next to green checkmarks, symbolizing flexible choices. Soft, focused lighting highlights the whiteboard, and the person’s face is blurred, emphasizing the written lists.

People that are actively working and pursuing their careers often are in a state of "musts”: you "must" send this email, you "must" finish this piece of code, and you "must” close this deal TODAY! However, this is the least upsetting because these people, including my past self, are then very unhappy because they can't find any time for relationships, fun, and entertainment, suppressing personal growth. To change this, you have to realise that there is another state, a state of possibilities. You don't have to do anything, but you CAN do everything, and you CAN choose what to do. What is more, you make your daily tasks as choices, not chores. This significantly reduces stress, allows you to be in a different nervous system state, calm yourself down, and, what is the most important, it allows you to make wiser decisions, including spending time with your closest ones.